Getting Pregnant & Staying Pregnant

Trigger warning. This post may be difficult for you if you’ve had trouble conceiving, had a miscarriage or lost a baby. I want to make sure you’re in the right mindset before reading this post. It is meant to be helpful, but I want to put that warning out there. Getting pregnant and staying pregnant is ultimately out of our hands, but I still believe we can help our bodies along the way and feel better in the knowledge we tried as best we could.

Another quick note, I’m not a doctor. I’m just a woman, who had trouble getting and staying pregnant and am just sharing with you what worked for me. Consult your doctor first! And lastly, there is no silver bullet. There isn’t just one way that works for everyone. So keep an open mind and know that your journey, is your journey. 

Let’s do a brief overview of my journey with pregnancy. I started trying to get pregnant when I was 31 years old. We had been married about a year and were ready to grow our family. We started trying and got pregnant in about six months into actively trying. I was elated. But then I experienced a miscarriage. I won’t go into detail – that’s for another post.

Even though the doctor told me I should not be alarmed or worried that it would happen again. I felt like I needed to research how people get and stay pregnant. That led me to acupuncture, particularly ones that specialize in fertility. I had never gone to acupuncturist before, but so many of my friends told me stories of how they got and stayed pregnant after a miscarriage because of acupuncture. 

After doing everything I list below, I did get pregnant successfully about three to six months after. That pregnancy went well and that resulted in my daughter.

When my daughter was about 1 ½ years we decided to try again. We got pregnant a few months into trying. However, that pregnancy ended in another miscarriage. Again, I’ll go into that on another post as that miscarriage was very difficult. 

So what did I do? Honestly, I had to wait. Due to complications my body had not completely passed the baby till almost four months after hearing no heartbeat. I needed to process my feelings, what had happened and think really hard if I could do this one more time.

When I was emotionally ready, I went back to my list below and we starting trying again. I wasn’t taking my temperature this time, and started using an app instead to help me track my ovulation. I believe it took us longer to conceive this time – between six to nine months. And after prepping my mind and body, and a little romantic vacation, I was able to get pregnant and that resulted in my son. 

I just wanted to make sure you knew where I was coming from. That I’ve been there. It’s not been easy for me either. So let’s talk about how I got and stayed pregnant. It’s a long post, but hopefully worth it.

Getting Pregnant & Staying Pregnant

• D.O. – Doctor of Osteopathy 
• Chiropractor
• Acupuncture – specializing in fertility 
• Drink room temperature water
• Herbs & Teas
• Take your temperature 
• Take your pre-natal vitamins
• Be Healthy
• Relax
• Take a trip
• Prayer
• Trust 

D.O. – Doctor of Osteopathy 

A lot of general practitioners are D.O.’s. But I don’t want you to go to them. I want you to go to a doctor that practices osteopathy, or manipulative treatment. They move your body in a way to help everything work or relieve issues you have. From their website: “a DO moves a patient’s muscles and joints using techniques that include stretching, gentle pressure and resistance.” It’s much more gentle than a chiropractor and I like it way more. It’s a whole body approach to medicine. It’s kind of hard to explain honestly but for me it’s trumps every other doctor and health care practitioner I’ve ever been to. You can head to this website to read more about what they do or this website to find a doctor.

We first heard about D.O.’s when my husband was in a car accident and fractured bones in his spine – two months after we got married. Our kickboxing instructor was actually a D.O. and she said to come in and see her once his surgery was done. The surgeon said he probably won’t have full mobility in his neck, particularly when it came to fully turning his head. The D.O. was able to work him back to full health. You’d never know he has a screw in his neck!

For me and fertility, she helped align my body and heal some issues internally that I would have never known were there. Aside from generally adjusting my body, she was able to feel, over my clothes, that my uterus was pulling to one side. I know, it sounds super weird, but she was able to adjust it and let my uterus be free.

Did you know that the amount of vaginal dryness or wetness can also be adjusted? I had one of those problems and it needed to be solved. You really need you vagina and all it’s part to be working properly to get pregnant. So she adjusted, again over my clothes, to resolve that issue. It was a complete game changer for me because I just assumed my body was one way and so was sex. But after she helped me out with that, everything became much better – if you know what I mean. 

A D.O., depending on your insurance, can be much more expensive and harder to get into. Typically you’ll need around 3-5 visits to work everything out. Then, I recommend you go every six months to a year for a general whole body checkup.

Chiropractor

So typically, I would pick a D.O. over a chiropractor any day. But should you not have a D.O. near you or whatever the case. I would recommend a chiropractor that specializes in fertility and pregnancy. 

Personally, I used a chiropractor the second time around to help me out with turning my son so he was facing head down and to just help my body carry this human being inside me. I highly recommend it during pregnancy. 

But again, if you can’t go to a D.O. try to find a chiropractor that can make sure your body is aligned and ready for pregnancy.

Acupuncture

When I went looking for an acupuncturist I made sure that they specialized in fertility and that they had success stories. It’s best to ask around for recommendations, but if not, I used yelp and it was very helpful. Also, not all acupuncturists are created equal. If you don’t feel comfortable or it hurts once the needles are in, walk away. Find someone else. Just like you would, or you should if you don’t like your doctor, therapist, workout instructor, etc… I think you get the jist.

I’m going to talk more about acupuncture and what acupuncture feels like to me, just in case you’ve never gone in a minute. Every acupuncturist will stick needles in different places. One acupuncturist had me in a private room in a gown because she stuck needles in my belly, legs, head, arms, etc…and she used a warming lamp on my belly sometimes. Body temperature is very important by the way. Another acupuncturist had me in my clothes in a lounger chair. I’d just roll up my sleeves to my elbow and my pant to my knees. The needles would go into my arms, legs and head/face.

So what does it feel like? It feels like a tiny prick, and then it goes away really quickly. Sometimes they twist the needles in a little. This sounds way more dramatic than it is. It doesn’t hurt, more like it feels odd. Sometimes you will feel a pinch but again, it goes away immediately. If the needle does hurt after it’s in, tell you acupuncturist. For the most part it shouldn’t hurt after. Your anticipation of the needle going in way more hyped than the actual process. Try to relax!

Once the needles are in, they typically dim the lights and the acupuncturist leaves the room. This is your time to breathe deeply and relax. I’m serious, zen out. You’ll be there around 20-30 minutes – sometimes the first appointment is longer. Then they’ll come back in and take out the needles – that doesn’t hurt either. You can head to my instagram highlights for a quick in person recap of one of my acupuncturist appointments. 

For me I ended up going in once a week for a while – never on my period. If that get expensive or time consuming, do what works for you. I think I ended up moving it to once every two weeks and then once a month – if it was taking longer to get pregnant. 

Water

My first acupuncturist had enormous success in getting getting many women pregnant with a healthy child. So much so, that women named their children after her! She had me do a couple of extra things to move the process along. She told me to drink room temperature water. Remember when I said body temperature is important? Well drinking overly cold water doesn’t help regulate your body temperature so she told me to stick with room temperature water. I actually ran cold before I got acupuncture and she helped me stabilize my body temperature. 

Herbs & Teas

I am no doctor, consult a doctor first y’all. I’m on the fence here with herbs and teas. With one pregnancy I took herbs and drank tea while trying to get pregnant, another one I didn’t. I believe eastern medicine is very healing and amazing for our bodies but most of it hasn’t gone through testing yet. So at the end of the day, it’s up to you to do your research and trust your gut.

Take your Temperature

Body temperature again. My acupuncturist told me to chart my body temperature every morning. Why? Because your temperature will increase ever so slightly, and I mean from like 98.2 to 98.6 (???) and when you see that jump – that means your body is in fact able to ovulate. Once that spike happens, you’re ovulating. That’s a good indication that you and your partner should be having some extra fun that week. 

You need to take your temperature within minutes of waking up. Once it’s taken you’ll chart it on a graph. I kept a thermometer on my dresser with a chart and pencil so I could do it every morning. It might take a month or two to see the variations, but they will be there. And if they’re not, it might be time to tell the acupuncturist and talk to your doctor. 

If you you think using a pencil and paper to chart is crazy, I recommend an app that helps you track your ovulation. A good one should have a place for you to enter your temperature and chart it for you.

Take your prenatal vitamins

You want your body to be getting all the correct nutrients, including folic acid, before you get pregnant. So start taking prenatal vitamins while you are trying to get pregnant. You hair and nails will thank you.

Be Healthy

That means you probably need to start trying to up your fruit and vegetable intake. Sometimes losing even five pounds can make a difference. Or perhaps you need to gain weight instead. Be mindful to prep your body. Exercise is just as important. Go to the gym, do workout videos at home, or at the very least, walk for thirty minutes. All these small chances could make a difference.

Relax

Sometimes we get so wrapped up with trying to get pregnant that we forget to relax. If you’ve had a hard time getting pregnant than you know all-too-well the emotions that come with that. Stress, anxiety, sadness can plague your everyday life. Not to mention all the emotions that come every month when you talk yourself in and out of whether you’re pregnant before your period comes. Try to relax. Please, please, please. We all know stress is so harmful to our lives. If you need some extra tips check out my tips on creating spa moments post.

Take a Trip

That being said. Why not take a trip? Perhaps around ovulation, or not. We actually booked a super romantic trip to the Mission Inn in Southern California because the stress of getting pregnant with a second child was too much. So much time had passed, and I wasn’t getting pregnant that I was making peace with having one child. So we booked a trip and nine months later my son was born. No joke. 

I did not once, think about getting pregnant on the trip. I let go of everything and sunk into the relaxation of the trip. We booked a day at the on-site spa and not once did we hop in the car. Whatever we did we stayed in the hotel or walked to where we wanted to be. I allowed myself to be totally spoiled and in the moment. It was worth every penny.

Prayer

Now listen. You hopefully know two things about me by now if you follow me on Instagram. 1. I’m Muslim 2. I don’t push religion on anyone. I don’t care what you are or what you practice, or don’t. But I have to put prayer in here. The point I want to make here is you’re asking for help. From Allah, from God, from Buddah, from the universe – whatever. Taking that time be in your thoughts and ask for guidance, it really helps. 

Trust

This is the hardest part. Forget drinking room temperature water and taking pills everyday. Trusting in what’s meant to be is so very, very hard. Especially when it’s not going the way you want it to. You have to trust and go along with what’s meant to be. And sure, it’s easy for me to say because I have two healthy, happy kids. But it wasn’t easy, I’ve been down that road. 

Life can totally suck and be hard, but you’re only given with what you can handle. Which means you’re a pretty strong person. Maybe I went through two miscarriages so I could share my experience and help someone else. I do think, after having time to deal with the trama of my second miscarriage, it happened for a reason. My kids are four years apart. I think if they were any closer I couldn’t have handled it. I wasn’t meant to juggle two really young kids.

If you have had a misscarriage check out I Had A Miscarriage on Instagram. Talk to your friends. It’s astounding how many of us have had a miscarriage. Even if you do everything on my list. And you’re in perfect health, a miscarriage still can happen. And listen to me, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. THERE IS NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE. It will be hard and it’s not fair, but you can work through it. It doesn’t have to be the end of your pregnancy journey. Please take the time to heal emotionally and move forward if, and when, you’re ready. 

And if you can’t get pregnant after years of trying. Please go see a doctor. Please know that you do have options out there. And it doesn’t seem fair and it’s not the way you always thought it would. But here you are. Find others that are going through what you are as well. The internet can be an extremely helpful place. 

Trust that it all happened for a reason. After you’ve gone through all the emotions you need to about whatever is happening with you and fertility. After you’ve cried and been ridden with anxiety, try to move on and trust. What’s meant to be in your life will happen. And as much as it pains me to write this, having kids naturally is not in the cards for everyone. There are many more ways to have kids. Or perhaps moving on in life without kids. I want you to have whatever you want, trust me. And I know the pain you are experiencing. But trust and have faith.

All the being said. I do still believe that you can help along pregnancy and childbirth with the tools I laid out. I’m sure there are a million other ideas in addition to mine. We do have free will, we can make choices to make sure we’re doing the most we can.

Here’s to you getting pregnant and staying pregnant. Here’s to an easy birth for you and your baby and long, happy life together. I see you, your struggles and your pain. And I love you.